my pathetic life

if only i could say that

but that the true 

no one would know

just smile

n pretend there is nothing happen

hope i will forget every single thing that happen before

please remind me to SMILE

For being sick, for being not perfect, for having nothing, for being just me. I dont think that anyone would love me for that. No one would stay for me. N its happen. they go one by one. Without any reason but i know why. because im just me. Nothing special about me.Just a girl who really wanna feel how its like to be loved in the correct way, to be treated like a human, to have friends that can understand my condition, to be like other girl. Guess i have to learn how to face n accept it anyway. Maybe i shouldnt be hoping, because it is going to be the same, as always.

next semester is coming..
aku ta tau aku ready ke ta
for sure sekarang aku rase takut
tiap kali terfikir mesti rasa na menangis
tolong la ya Allah
bantulah aku
tunjukkan aku petunjuk
bimbing aku jalani hidup aku
jangan bia aku leka dengan dunia yg sementara ni
aku harap dan aku bdoa
semoga sem2 akan dtg lebih baik drpd sem lepas
sem pling teruk aku rasa
ya Allah bantu aku
jangan lah Kau uji aku seperti dulu
aku takut aku ta mampu
ta mampu na hadapi semua sorang2
aku ta na susahkan mak ayh aku lagi ya Allah
cukuplah aku susahkan dorang selame ni
semoga Kau berikan kesihatan yg lebih baik
last sem banyak sgt mase tbuang dengan tidur
penat sgt ya Allah
ta larat rasenye
rase na baring rehat tidur
tapi bille bangun tidur badan jadi makin lemah
makin ta larat na bngun
makin sakit
na makan pon camtu
kdg2 rase better ta makan
sbab bile makan badan jadi sakit, ta selesa
mak selalu marah sebab ta makan
tapi mak ta tau sebenanye aku ta na makan sebab aku rasa lebih selesa, badan ta sakit
tapi kalau aku bgtau mak jdi ag risau
tiap kali kalau aku diam je kt uma mesti mak tnye nisa sakit ke?
muka mak mesti brubah mase tu
nmpk sgt
aku ta na mak risau lagi
tolong hambaMu ya Allah
beri aku kekuatan
sem lepas study sambil lewa
bile de test or quiz je study
tu pon kdg2 redha je
tp nasib baik time study week mmbe2 ajak study
housemate n roomate pon same
dorang rajin sgt study
rase tcabar n takut bile tgok dorang camtu
so study la gak
aku ta tau pe da jdi ngan aku
aku hilang semangat
i almost GIVE UP
sampai tlintas, aku ta na hidup lagi
buat pe aku hidup kalau hidup mnyusahkan mak ayh je
AMPUNKAN AKU YA ALLAH

Alhamdulillah sem 3 dah lepas n sem 4 akan datang
smoga Allah melancarkan segala urusan semasa blaja ni
sesungguhnya ini perjuangan aku untuk balas jasa mak ayah aku
InsyaAllah, setiap niat yg baik akan ada jalannya
Amin Ya Rabb..

today, 28 january 2013 nekad bgtau mak.

thats it

after a long time still

my feeling doesnt change

it is going to be the same

semoga ini yg terakhir

amin insyaAllah

aku nekad na cari pengganti

sape pon tpi yg sure mak ayah aku kne stuju jugak

cukup la aku jadi bodoh sebelum ni

aku takkan tunggu lagi

aku takkan berharap dekat org yg tak pernah nak hargai aku

untuk yg dah tinggalkan aku, aku takkan terime lagi

aku dah bagi peluang tpi kau mainkan aku lagi kan

aku akan bukak hati aku untuk org lain

tpi untuk kau, tutup serapat rapatnye

sume tentang kau aku dah buang

jangan cari aku lagi

for both of my ex

just get away from me

nowadays
my life is different
i'm kinda miss the old me
the people that used to be with me
the things i used to do
the words i used to say
the love i used to proud
and now it all gone

the new semester! :')

the semester began tomorrow
hope everything just fine, hope new friend would be different
what am i feeling right now??
stress!
but i dont really sure why :')
feeling sad also but i cant cry anymore!!