It still there

Cant stop thinking bout it. No matter how hard i tried, its come back. I knew i shouldnt. Ive try but i cant. Coz u leave a big mark on my heart. But im trying to not telling u this, hoping i can still forget u someday, as u wish for.

I missed myself

Pernah suatu masa dulu, aku berdoa agar Allah tarik rasa SAYANG aku, rasa KASIH dan BELAS aku supaya aku tak mudah sayang seseorang. sebab org yg aku sayang belum tentu akan sayang aku sedangkan aku akan semakin sayang pada org yg aku sayang. Pengalaman mengajar tentang diri aku tp aku masih tak dapat nak atasi diri aku sendiri. How i wish i could be like the one i used to be long time ago
Aku pernah jadi antilelaki, benci lelaki. Sebab lelaki yg aku kenal, yg aku nampak mementingkan rupa. Suke main2.
Aku nak camtu lg, aku nak hati aku keras lg. Aku ta na cepat lembut hati, aku ta na mudah sgt percaya kan org. Aku rindu aku yg dulu.

a life i never asks it to be
a life i never wanted it to be
or even having a slight think in my mind to be such way
but, its a life, its a reallity, its happening, its cannot be undone
no matter how much i wanted it to rewind, no matter how regret i am
that one mistake change my life, and slowly change my self
however, this life given by Him, He knows the best for me, and i wish everything gonna be fine

Andai hatiku bersuara

Oh tuhan berikanlah aku
Kekuatan menempuhi dugaanmu
Aku percaya ada hikmahnya
Di setiap dugaan yg ku terima
Andainya hatiku bersuara
Pastinya ia akan berkata
Cukuplah sayang aku tidak berdaya
Mengharungi segala sengsara
Berapa kali harus aku terluka
Barulah kan ku sedar
Cinta ku tidak layak untuk dirinya
Mengapa masih aku setia di sisinya
Tidakku mengerti tidakku fahami
Seperti insan biasa aku ingin bahagia
Menyintai dan dicintai tiada duanya
Andai terlampau permintaanku ni
Maafkanlah kasih
Berapa kali harus aku terluka
Barulah kan ku sedar
Cintaku tidak layak untuk dirinya
Mengapa masih aku setia di sisinya
Tidakku mengerti tidakku fahami
Seperti insan biasa aku ingin bahagia
Menyintai dan dicintai tiada duanya
Andai terlampau permintaan ku ini
Maafkanlah kasih
Andai terlampau permintaanku ini
Maafkanlah kasih
Oh tuhan berikanlah aku
Kekuatan menempuhi dugaanmu
Aku percaya ada hikmahnya
Disetiap dugaan yang ku terima

now i accept the fact that im going to be alone :)

for all the thing that have been happen to me, insyaAllah the would be something else fated for me

just pray n hope that everything gonna be just fine

my pathetic life

if only i could say that

but that the true 

no one would know

just smile

n pretend there is nothing happen

hope i will forget every single thing that happen before

please remind me to SMILE

For being sick, for being not perfect, for having nothing, for being just me. I dont think that anyone would love me for that. No one would stay for me. N its happen. they go one by one. Without any reason but i know why. because im just me. Nothing special about me.Just a girl who really wanna feel how its like to be loved in the correct way, to be treated like a human, to have friends that can understand my condition, to be like other girl. Guess i have to learn how to face n accept it anyway. Maybe i shouldnt be hoping, because it is going to be the same, as always.